Caught by Drunk Canoeists

This happened at the Skunk River in June of last year. I was swimming by myself in a wide spot that was not too near a trail when I heard a very noisy group of canoeists around the bend upstream. I could tell that it was a small group, all men. They were loud and moving slowly, so I figured that they were having a good time and might not object to someone else who was having a good time in his own way.

So I didn’t cover up. As they came around the bend I saw that they were three guys, college age. I was in water that was waist-deep at the most, but I didn’t just stand there—I swam the backstroke as they approached.

No, they didn’t object to nudity. When they saw that I had no swimsuit, one of them said, "Hey, you’d be a cool guy to go canoeing with. Come with us next weekend! What’s your phone number?"

I’m not quick enough to think of how best to answer. I only gave a smart-ass reply: "It’s in the book." In their inebriated condition, they were downstream before they figured out that they would need to know my name too.

What I should have said was, "You’d be cool guys to skinnydip with. Why not pull the canoe ashore, take off your shorts, and have a swim here?" I’m sure they were uninhibited enough at the time to do it.

If only I were as quick to come up with the right words as I am to strip off!